My relationship with my dad has been strained at best for the majority of my life. He didn't make the best decisions when I was a kid and it led to a lot of resentment and hostility. He loves me to death and always has, but he has this inherent characteristic that makes him do the crazy things. He can't help himself. Within the past year or so I've been reevaluating our relationship which is something I haven't done in a while. I'm at the point now where I take care of myself which has made me not care nearly as much about petty grudges. What really made a difference was my best friend who is having a child soon told me he couldn't imagine this child ever hating him. It would be the worst feeling ever.
A huge wave of guilt washed over me and I haven't looked at things the same since. I've had all these epiphanies since I turned 25 which is fitting for some reason considering it's a quarter of a century. That resonates with me for some reason. I want time to be on my side, even if that means swallowing some grudges and moving on.
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